Tuesday, December 28, 2004

Winning a prize from the circus

Not exactly a circus. I won the SO a stuffed tiger from Excalibur. I beat and humiliated five year olds at this racing game. The movement of the knights on horsies was determined by rolling and sinking a ball in holes. I figured that it was a fair game in that the prize was a stuffed animal and the price to play was $1.

I must be gaining better control of my motor movements now that I am older. I can actually coordinate and have some sort of physical memory with respect to rolling balls.

I had never won a prize in a circus like atmosphere. Games where you sink a ship, place a hoop across the bottle top, and darts have been a nemesis' of mine. No matter how much I wanted to win, it was much easier and cheaper in the long run to just buy the damned stuffed toy.

But today, on a day of celebration for the SO, I managed to win not once, but twice. Bwahahahha. The first time, I had to learn the mechannics of the game. I had to analyze the mechanism. The kid sitting next to me was quite aggressive in staking out his place. May his aggresiveness pay off in the form of stress and diarrhea. Bwahahhaha. That's what he gets for touching my leg with his leg.

The second time, I had a whole bunch of Vietnamese shouting to their kid and puttinng pressure on him. Jesus, I was trying to figure out what the heck they were saying. I finally won after they left and I got to focusing.

The night was a success because I got to trade up to a white tiger for the SO. I finally won something for her. I hunted and got her a stuffed tiger. This day is an 8.

Tuesday, December 21, 2004

Set Up

Well, one of the managers at the photofinishing place where I work was set up. He was assigned to do the impossible in a very short time period. Because he did not have the support of his director, he could not accomplish the task on time. Furthermore, another person had the missing document which held up his task. Talk about cursed. I don't know how people are able to get their photos considering how the company treats its employees.

The short end of it is that the manager got his department compressed into another department. My disappointment lies in the fact that the director had to set him up and screw him over in order for the changes to take into effect. The action speaks for itself.

Another accident occurred at the line today. The machine spontaneously opened up and chewed up 100 films. Hmm, how are we going to explain that to the people? Maybe give them some more free film to play with. But there went Junior's little party. And there went Sam's funeral memories. It's okay. He was not that well liked.

Today was a six. Lunch at a nice steak restaurant. Got to finish my assignment. Although some of the people at the line have problems. The Babylon DVDs have not come in yet. Bummer.

Merry Christmas! Celebrate God's gift of wonderful days.

Sunday, December 19, 2004

Weddings and Parties

Amazingly enough, the SO and I went to two parties this weekend. Both parties were from people I knew. That does not happen very often. Maybe because I don't have that many friends. But the friends that I do have mean a lot.

V and M got married today. They had a minister from Canada perform the marriage. Since the US does not recognize gay marriages, the Canadian minister will file the marriage certificate in Canada so that when the US finally recognizes gay marriages, V and M can say that they have been married since 2004.

However, Father Rich who will marry the SO and I already said the truth. You don't need a certificate or a document to be married. All you need is to know in your heart and the rest is just details.

When I looked at V today, I can not find the V that I knew. The one with the pain and the one who was missing a part of himself. I remember when I saw V a dragon with his ex-partner. The ex said that he was a monkey. Monkeys and dragons make extra-ordinary pairs. Together, the two can conquer the world. However, being a monkey myself, I did not see the monkey in the ex. I said to myself, "Odd, this is not the person I thought V should be with." I never said anything.

Today, when I looked at V and M, I saw the person that belonged to the dragon.


The party was in Oakland and was held by a former officemate T. T is an African-American woman who is a powder keg of funny. She never holds her sarcastic comments which always leads her to trouble. I had never been in a party with so many black people. That pretty much tells you how limited my exposure is to the world.

I find it hard to talk to others. I guess Jimmy the social animal needs to come out on social occassions. It did not help that for some reason, my throat gave me problems last night. The temperature was too cold and my throat would start itching and I would start coughing.

T cooked a feast of spaghetti, teriyaki chicken and bbq chicken. Damn, the chicken was good. I could not get enough of it. The spaghetti was almost like a Filipino one. All it needed was sugar and some Vienna sausages.

As the wedding approaches, the number of people I call friends begin coming out of the woodwork. Maybe they sense my impending joy. If they are reading this, I wish them joy and interesting times in the future.

Thursday, December 16, 2004

Coming to Terms

Well yesterday, I finally stopped caring about the worrries of the job. My boss came at me pissed off because a lot of photos were not printed on time. Hello? I was working on your project! How was I supposed to do both? Here I am toiling away at 60 hours plus and I can't figure out if I can go 80 hours a week. And he was not satisfied. I finally just said that the job I was doing needed two people. I was just working extra to get the stuff done.

Maybe I should give him the Dale Carnegie book on "How to Make Friends" and "How to Avoid Stress." I figure that the way he is going, I was going to follow him to the grave. Good Lord! I felt the same pains and nastiness that I read about in the book.

I just did not care anymore. I reached the point where the SO said "What are you going to do to me? Fire me? Well, I can just get another job." Really, I realize more and more that the photofinishing business might not be the heaven that I thought I could climb to riches. Maybe I have to start thinking about real estate.

Wednesday, December 15, 2004

Food is Love

The fiancee has this habit of saying "No" when I ask her if she wants to eat. Five minutes later however, she will peek at my plate and ask if she can have a piece of bread or a piece of cheese.

I know that I love her because I will just give her the piece of bread and cheese and be happy that she is eating something for dinner. Who have I become? I used to be the guy who growled when someone walks too close to my food. I used to buy food and not share.

An office mate asked me what I would do if I had a piece of food that was really, reallly good and that it was the last piece in the world. Would I give it to the SO? Without hesitation, I said "Yes." She said that my giving the food meant that I really loved the person.

Last night was excellent. It was a seven because I managed to pick up the DVD Return of the King.

Today was an eight. I got stuff done at work. And when my boss wanted to tell me how I screwed up, I told her that I was doing my best. I should have told her to get a grip. Instead, I said that I was doing the work of two people. I finally got a "What you gonna do? Fire me? attitude"

Friday, December 10, 2004

Your mind creates the reality

I have been reading a book by Dale Carnergie. The book is about dealing with everyday grind of life. It talks about how your mind can affect how you look at your life. I am extremely emotional. It probably stems from my being born in the year of the monkey. I don't handle criticisms too well. I'm super-competitive.

I have to learn how to relax and focus. That is apparently one of the keys. I have to look at each day and not worry. Allah has foretold and written what will come to pass. God will take care of me. Each day, I read the book and try to apply it.

Wednesday was a 8 because I watched Babylon 5 with the SO. She was surprised that she had not seen the show before. It is a sci-fi show and next to Red Dwarf and Dr. Who, it is one of my favorites. It is not Star Trek, though I am a fan of that one too. Unlike X-Files, the writer knew what he was doing and so had a beginning, a middle and an end.

The jist is that tonight, we are going to buy Seasons 1, 2, 3, and 5. She had previously obtained Season 4 for me. Whoopee!!!

At any rate, because I think too much, I essentially have to read in a book what I must do in order not to worry too much. I probably got the worry gene from my father. I just remember that he would be quiet on most evenings. I almost have to wonder if those days in World War II had any effect on him. I am sure it did. He ended up using the plain-wrap beer from Ralphs to ease the pain. I plan not to go that way.

So, I do a mantra: I work for myself. I can get laid off or fired, I will just find another work. I have a family and they are great. God / Allah / Jehovah / Buddha / Krishna will take care of me.

Today is an 8. It is a Friday and I will enjoy the day God has given me. Thank you God. (And no, I am not born again. I just saw in tv that you have to give praise to God in order to regain some perspective).

Monday, December 06, 2004

Rationalizing the Irrational

The SO told me that I have been trying to rationalize the irrational. Stuff that don't make sense do not make sense no matter what or how you interpret them. It is stupidity to try and do so again and again. Sometimes, people are just obsessive. Sometimes, they are just plain stupid.

Working at the photofinishing store seems to drain my energy. The supervisor is constantly telling me of things that I have not done. But with the 8 hour workshift, not everything can be done. Stupid. I need to have the discipline to just shut the fuck up and not say anything. After all, its only a job.

I have forgotten to say thanks to God. I should thank him for all the good things in my life. Forget about the bad things.

Sunday, December 05, 2004

Sometimes, Friends Do Matter

As the wedding comes nearer, all my friends from the past make an apperance. M who is married to M had a post-Thanksgiving party which I attended last night. Awesome food and awesome people.

Each time an old friend calls, it makes me remember who I was at a younger age. The brashness and the arrogance is simply stupefying. I'll just credit it to the shyness of an immigrant who wanted a hard shell on the outside. Nothing can bother me. But as with all human beings, we have our demons who haunt our every single waking moment. Perhaps, that was why I was so foul in my earlier years. But, at least I grew up out of it.

M was one of the college friends I made. A true one though I might not have known it at the time. Like a majority of people, I wanted flashy friends who looked good and shined. M was down to earth. A very intelligent, funny person who had a genuineness about her. She was not psychotic, neurotic or any other pscyhiatric -ics. She was well-adjusted, normal and happy. She accepts people as who they are without questions asked and welcomes them with open arms. She forgets all the faults and remembers the good. How many people are like that out there in the world? Not many.

V is having a commitment ceremony in mid-December. As soon as I heard, I screamed and giggled like a woman. I was so happy for him to finally find someone who fits him. I have to cancel a ton of stuff in order to attend his ceremony, but that is what friends are for.

This weekend is an 8. Good friends and good food.

Wednesday, December 01, 2004

Good days!

Hmm, if i play my cards right, every day will be great because I find something to be cheerful about. Tonight it was dinner with the fiancee. Afterwards, it was ice cream at Fenton's. And I got some shopping done to boot. For lunch, had a bitch session with a friend. She works at the kitchenette next to Ikea. Awesome conversations.

Nice. Today was an 8.