Monday, August 29, 2005


If he is preaching longer than twenty minutes,
he makes the people stay away from the Church;
If he preaches less than ten minutes, he did not prepare his sermon;
if his voice is strong during the sermon, he is shouting!

If his voice has the normal strength,
people do not understand what he is preaching about.
If he owns a car, he is worldly;
If he does not own one, he does not go with the times.

If he goes out to visit families, he is never at home;
If he does not visit them, he does not care for his parishioners.

If he is asking contributions, he is after money;
If he does not do it, he is too proud for that.

If he takes his time in the confessional, he is too slow;
If he makes it faster, he has no time for his penitents.

If he begins his mass on time, his watch is advanced;
if he begins it a minute or two later, he keeps people waiting.

If he renovates his Church, he throws away the money;
if he does not do it, he allows everything to rot away.

If he focuses his ministry on women, he is flirting.
If he focuses on man, he is gay.

If he spends time with children, he might be a pedophile.
If he warms up to old women, he must be missing his mama.
If he keeps distance from all of them, he has a heart of stone.

If he is young, he has no experience.
If he is old, he should retire.

As along as he lives, there are always people who know better;
If he dies, there is nobody to take his place.

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