Saturday, November 27, 2004

Fuck the South. Fuck 'em. We should have let them go when they wanted
leave. But no, we had to kill half a million people so they'd stay part
our special Union. Fighting for the right to keep slaves - yeah, those
states we want to keep.

And now what do we get? We're the fucking Arrogant Northeast Liberal
Elite? How about this for arrogant: the South is the Real America? The
Authentic America. Really?

Cause we fucking founded this country, assholes. Those [
]Founding Fathers you keep going on and on about? All that bullshit
what you think they meant by the Second Amendment giving you the right
keep your [
]assault weapons in the glove compartment because you didn't bother to
read the [
]first half of the fucking sentence? Who do you think those wig-wearing
lacy-shirt sporting [
]revolutionaries were? They were fucking blue-staters, dickhead.
Philadelphia? New York? Hello? Think there might be a reason all the
fucking [
]monuments are up here in our backyard?

No, No. Get the fuck out. We're not letting you visit the Liberty Bell
fucking Plymouth Rock anymore until you get over your real American
and start respecting those other nine amendments. Who do you think
fucking stripes on the flag are for? Nine are for fucking blue states.
it would be 10 if those Vermonters had gotten their fucking Subarus
together and broken off from New York a little earlier. Get it? We sta
rted this shit, so don't get all uppity about how real you are you
Johnny-come-lately "Oooooh I've been a state for [ ]almost a hundred years"
dickheads. Fuck off.

Arrogant? You wanna talk about us Northeasterners being fucking
What's more American than arrogance? Hmmm? Maybe [ ]horsies? I don't think
so. Arrogance is the fucking cornerstone of what it means to be
And I wouldn't be so fucking arrogant if I wasn't paying for your
bridges, bitch.

All those Federal taxes you love to hate? It all [
]comes from us and goes to you, so shut up and enjoy your fucking [ ]Tennessee Valley Authority electricity
your fancy highways that we paid for. And the next time Florida gets h
by a hurricane you can come crying to us if you want to, but you're the
ones who built on a fucking swamp. "Let the Spanish keep it, it’s a
shithole," we said, but you had to have your fucking orange juice.

The next dickwad who says, "It’s your money, not the government's
is gonna get their ass kicked. Nine of the ten states that get the most
federal fucking dollars and pay the least... can you guess? Go on,
That’s right, motherfucker, they're red states. And eight of the ten
states that receive the least and pay the most? It’s too easy, asshole,
they’re blue states. It’s not your money, assholes, it’s fucking our
money. What was that Real American Value you were spouting a minute
Self reliance? Try this for self reliance: buy your own fucking stop
signs, assholes.

Let’s talk about those values for a fucking minute. You and your
values can bite my ass because the blue states got the values over you
fucking Real Americans eve ry day of the goddamn week. Which state do
think has the lowest divorce rate you marriage-hyping dickwads? Well?
you guess? It’s fucking [
]Massachusetts, the fucking center of the gay marriage universe. Yes,
that’s right, the state you love to tie around the neck of anyone to
left of Strom Thurmond has the lowest divorce rate in the fucking
Think that’s just some [ ]aberration? How
this: 9 of the 10 lowest divorce rates are fucking blue states,
and most are in the Northeast, where our values suck so bad. And where
the highest divorce rates? Care to fucking guess? 10 of the top 10 are
fucking red-ass we're-so-fucking-moral states. And while Nevada is the
worst, the [ ]Bible Belt
doing its fucking part.

But two guys m aking out is going to fucking ruin marriage for you?
Seems like you're ruining it pretty well on your own, you little
Oh, but that's ok because you go to church, right? I mean you do,
Cause we fucking get to hear about it every goddamn year at election
Yes, we're fascinated by how you get up every Sunday morning and sing,
then you're fucking towers of moral superiority. Yeah, that's a
formula. Maybe us fucking Northerners don't talk about religion asc
as you because we're not so busy sinning, hmmm? Ever think of that, you
self-righteous assholes? No, you're too busy [ ]erecting giant stone tablets of the
Commandments in buildings paid for by the fucking Northeast Liberal
And who has the [
]highest murder rates in the nation? It ain't us up here in the North,

Well this gravy train is fucking over. Take your liberal-bashing,
federal-tax-leaching, confederate-flag-waving, holier-than-thou,
hypocritical bullshit and shove it up your ass.

And no, you can't have your fucking convention in New York next time.

[ ]

No comments: