There is Always a Price

A few years ago, my goal in life was to be famous. That was the goal. If it was something that would have made me famous, I wanted it. I wanted to cure cancer. I wanted to be a celebrity. I wanted to be a sports star. I wanted to be a celebrated author. You know, someone whose works mean something to the society that he lived in.

Of course, luckily for me, I always knew that you can have all the things in the universe if you are willing to pay the price. The greater that things you want, the steeper the price got. You see, that was the glitch with me. I was never one to want to pay the piper the price. It always seems too steep. It always seems so unfair. You want to cure cancer? Sure you can do that. But, you have to give up a family and children and a wife. You want to be a lawyer? Not a problem. The price is that your marriage will fall on the rocks. You want anything else? You know, your children will make you ruler of the world if you are willing to trade. Get the picture?

Today, I heard that Iris Chang committed suicide. Iris Chang is the author of the book The Rape of Nanking which is one of the first to tackle the brutality of the Japanese soldiers during World War II. The book was very controversial because it discussed the inhumanity which results from war. If there is a will, there is a way. Killing a human being is nothing if you look at them as animals.

I stood at Cody's bookstore in Berkeley and desired to write a book just like Iris Chang. What I did not realize six years ago is that what Iris Chang has to pay for to be that controversial and famous author is her life. She took a shotgun and pulled the trigger.

What type of depression would you have to be to actually take out and face the shotgun? Don't get me wrong. I plan to be a member of the NRA and buy rifles. The SO and I dream about clay shooting. But that is one thing that bothers me about guns. If you get to feeling the dumps, will it be so easy to just pull the trigger?

I mourn the loss of Iris Chang for this world. I believe that her demons just happened to get to her on a very bad day for her. If she could have just hanged on just one more day, perhaps she would have chosen happiness.

Iris, just like a flower, you bloom and pass away so quickly. I hope you find the peace you so desperate want.