The sister had baby twins last Friday and so I was asked to babysit the eldest. I was rather worried as to how to change diapers so I asked the SO to go with me. I have a paranoia about feces and babies. Although it makes sense of me in the biological way, I don't know about the intellectual and the olfactory senses. Feces is not my favorite scent.
The experience made me consider and question my ability and desire to have children however. After all, who am I to have a kid? I can't get to SF without getting lost. I can barely clean my apartment. And, I haven't cooked in ages. What makes me qualified to breed?
The weekend is over and I have succeeded in taking care of the niece. She fell on her face twice. But as my brother said, "Parang bato yan." She manipulated, laughed, cajoled and smiled her way out of two days. Was it only two days? It seems like it was longer.
My doubts are still there. But the SO has said that we will find a way to deal with the situation. Where the SO has set the direction, I follow. Previous episodes have proven to me that it would be unwise to follow.
Still, I don't know. I guess my mother was correct. She warned me before I went to college. "As soon as you have children, your life is no longer yours. You will live your life for your children." And she was correct. I have seen ambitious people turn down job offers in other states because they did not want their kids to live in a particular location.
At the very least, I know I can handle changing diapers. No sweat. Two minutes or so. I can do it.