Monday, August 30, 2004


The pamanhikan was amazing. Traditionally, the pamanhikan is the planning of the wedding. In other provinces, it is the compensation of the other family. The fiancee and I did it mostly because I wanted it. I figured the SO has her wedding day, I should have mine.

As Eileen has already mentioned, it was a formality. The SO had already accepted my proposal. But with the help of Tuhan Joe Arriola of the Kamatuuran School of Kali, the pamanhikan became an opportunity for me to reveal my intent on marrying the SO. I realized that riches, jewelry, service is nothing without the meaning from the heart. That I was willing to profess my love for the SO in front of her relatives and my relatives and her friends was a sign that I am willing to sacrifice. That I said that all I could give more was my soul and my life... and my laughter. Thank you Tuhan.

There are several favorite moments:

1. After Eileen shows off the pig's head and the accompanying feet, Tuhan looks around and shouts, "One PIG? You give one PIG? Where is the body of the pig? Did your husband eat it?"

2. After Eileen waxes eloquently about the Tboli dress beaded with mother of pearl, Tuhan stands up and screams "The Tboli! They are our enemies! Why do you give us clothing of our enemies?"

3. After the "One Pig" moment, Eileen snipes at me "Why did you stay monogamous with that pig?"

4. Tuhan examines the sword from the Northern Philippines, cuts the air with the sword, and then drops the sword with the pronouncement "Inferior Metal."

5. Eileen trying to make up superlatives about each jewelry gift. I had never seen the poet so flustered before. Usually, she does the flustering.

6. After Michelle and I have spoken from the heart, Tuhan gives a speech. During that speech, his eyes are in flames.

7. When Tuhan dropped the car keys, I thought to myself "Should I ask my brother for the keys to the Benz?" My brother later told me that he asked himself "Do I have to drop the keys of the Benz on the platter?"

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