Thursday, October 06, 2005

The Universe Answers Questions

Two more days before my ring finger gets a new partner. I tried out my wedding ring today and it was not so bad. It felt comfortable on my finger. We joked that we had the rings of power. Hahaha.

As the day comes closer and closer, I had been reflecting on my life and the decisions that I had made. I generally don't regret things in my life. But during reflection time, sometimes, I am confronted with certain choices that I wonder about.

For example, I wondered whether I left my previous job prematurely. This might be because the job I have at the law place is now so routine. Write two reports every week while still investigating things. The pace can run someone ragged. So I began to wonder about my old title and the responsibilities. For the life of me, I don't know why I miss it. I was twice as confused with three times the worry. The simplest problems became really giant mountains. We prepared for the insane things in that job.

Wouldn't you know it? As soon as I begin wondering, but after a few days later, I get a call from one of the people over at the old job. Guess what! Yup, she told me about the changes and the people who have left and how it was going. Yes, universe, I was right in leaving that place.

Another thing I was reflecting on was my decision to not pursue a career in medicine. It has always been one of those things that I could not accomplish. If failure could be defined by things one left undone, this was it. I was not a physician. For all the promise and the intelligence I had, I was not that well developed in lying and bullshitting to get through the interview of the medical schools. Somehow, I could not let go of the ego and my desire for money.

At any rate, the universe answers my questions of what my life would be by sitting my ass down in front of the television and making me watch this segment on paternity and DNA tests. As the segment unfolds, I realize that the guy they are interviewing was pretty familiar. What happened was that he was divorced with two kids. He was remarried. The second wife tells him that his second daughter does not look like him. He takes a paternity test. And it turns out that he is not the father of the child.

As I watched mesmerized and unbelieving, I realize in my gut that my life would have probably followed this guy's life. Lots of unhappiness. Lots of prestige, not necessarily from the job. Lots of drama from things other than your job. A lot of things that make life not very happy.

And I contrast that with my current situation. The SO laughs at the things I say, though she does tell me that those things are f**ked up. I get hugs and kisses. Someone buys me extract from cherries for my gout. And I am getting married in two more days. Life is good.

So, if you ever wonder about your life, go ask the universe. I caution you however that you should listen. The universe gives its answers in funny ways.

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