Things to Make Me Thankful
As the wedding day approaches, I reflect upon the women who could have been the wife. And I realize that I have a fatal flaw. I used to select, like or be attracted to women with baggage. Women who had parental issues. Women with psychological problems. Women who were arrogant. Women who were selfish. Granted, those women could have changed now as opposed to ten or fifteen years ago. (Just to cover my b*tt).
I remember E who had this magnificent low self-esteem problem emanating from her familial problems. She was beautiful by most modern standards. But, her family screwed her up so much that it was not funny. I wonder if she is herself torturing her children. "You did not do this properly. You should be more like so-and-so. You should be better." The words that parents wield have even greater effect as evidenced by the pscyhology of E.
As an example, one day, she was going nuts over her boyfriend's-ex. Apparently the boyfriend still had some feeling for the ex. She thought it was based on looks. So when I saw the ex, I was surprised. Now that I am nicer, I would call her homely. Back then, I was thinking about not so nice things. How can this person who looks like a television anchorwoman (Connie Young or Julie Chen for those of you younger) be paranoid about a homebody?
I realize now that it is not all outer beauty. Sure, you might be all 10 in the outer, but if your inner beauty is 0, it's a no win situation. So I give thanks to god who has many faces but one truth. Thanks for your blessings, specially the SO.