Saturday, March 06, 2004


I am extremely silly. I can not help the monkey inside of me. I do things that are off beat, funny and amusing. I have always wanted to have fun. It never made sense to me until I saw that in the Chinese zodiac that I was a monkey.

Along with the inner life and zest for life, I have this one crazy looking smile. I realized while in grad school that I looked like the super-hero Joker from DC comics whenever I smiled. Of course, I don't have the white makeup, but if Joker spent some time in Hawaii, I would have been it.

The smile scared away most women that I liked. I looked like I was planning something sneaky or mean. That was actually the assessment of Betty, one of those women who long ago tried to help me figure out why I could not attract women.

So, when I met the SO, I walked on eggshells. I did not smile. Verbotten. No smiles. I was always serious and I always showed my academic Professor side.

Later on, when she knew me better, I revealed bit by bit how silly and stupid I can get. And like every human being out there, I have tremendous faults. It is when your partner accepts your faults and gives you opportunities to grow out of those same faults that I would say you have found a true love.

At different time points in my life, I met women who I thought was IT. To reconcile that, I propose that in each of the stages in your life, you can have a partner who will be right or will suit you. The difficulty with the scenario is that for some people, stages in lives last maybe two or three years. Sometimes, people outgrow each other.

I have been with the SO for six years. I think that is a long enough time to see how we outgrow each other. It never fails that she surprises me and makes me laugh out loud. She makes stories of people and locations come to life. And she matches my silliness to no end.

I am amused at the thought of having children. Poor kids. They will never win. They might grow up sooner than their parents.

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