The HermitQueen demanded a traditional Filipino dinner? Hmm, I wondered whether or not the Queen knew how many ungulates had to be sacrificed in order for the cuisine to come true. Ah, never mind... one only lives once... if traditional means oxtail, goat, bagoong, and tripe, so be it. The HermitQueen will not be disappointed.

Shopping was performed in Ranch 99. Truly, an Asian supermarket is a blessing. I prefer to do my shopping in clean and sanitized surroundings. Yes, I know that this part was ripped from an animal just a few days ago. Yes, the way cattle is butchered is disturbing if you imagine yourself being pummeled with a steel rod. Yes, the amount of energy necessary to feed a young cow to maturity is a tremendous waste. But hey! I'm a Filipino. I am genetically predisposed to yearn for chicken, pork or beef. Heck, I yearn for anything that moves with fins, hoofs, legs, slime, or wings! From a whale to a tiny insect, I eat it! Yeah, you heard me right. I eat things that are usually pets or subjects of pest eradicators. After all, most things are carbohydrates and proteins at the molecular level. And hey, if it is not, then it is a delicacy from some other world!

Kalderetang Kambing. I ended up cooking this one because of some leftover ingredients from Easter. It actually turned out quite well. I had to skip the liver spread/pate because the it was served to the cat. But I placed an extra dollop of cheese and it more than made up for the liver spread.

I just realized that I never discussed Easter Kambing. Well let me get the recipe out of the way. Life has just been snapping on by that I keep forgetting.


Kalderetang Kambing

1.2 k goat meat, cut into large cubes
1 can Sprite
1/2 c soy sauce
100 g carrots, quartered, fried
100 g potato, quartered, fried
50 g red and green bell pepper
85 g liver spread
50 g green olives
50 g black olives
100 g cheddar cheese
50 ml olive oil
100 g Spanish sausage
15 g garlic
100 g onion
3 pc bay leaf
.5 g siling labuyo
75 ml vinegar
200 ml fresh tomatoes, peeled and crushed
salt and pepper
optional: coconut milk to add thickness

Thoroughly wash goat meat in running water.

Drain and place in an open pan to let it dry.

In a saucepan, boil meat with soy sauce, Sprite, vinegar and bay leaf for two hours or until meat is soft and tender. Strain meat from the soy sauce mixture. Set aside meat, as well as the soy sauce mixture for later use.

In a separate pan, saute olive oil, garlic and onion, add black and green olives then mix in the liver spread.

Add freshly crushed tomatoes.

Add cheddar cheese; stir well.

Add sausage.

Add bell pepper.

Add the soy sauce mixture.

Add the goat meat; bring to a boil.

Then add potatoes and carrots in the pan and cook for a few minutes more. (Note: Add more chilies if prefer super hot.)

The first time this recipe was tried in my presence, it took two cooks to bring the recipe into self-actualization. It takes two hours for the goat to cook and be tender. The heat and the vinegar and the sprite react by breaking down the collagens and the proteins. The two hours is necessary if you want the recipe to be successful. Another option of couse is to use a pressure cooker.

Do you know why it is important to cook the goat for two hours? Well, because I scientifically tried to make adobo out of the goat and only cooked it for one hour. Guess what. That goat was so tough that I had to use a knife to cut it up. Perhaps the adobong kambing would have passed if I were still in grad school, but now? Forget about it. The more tender it is, the better off you are.

So what do we do for two hours? Well, if you were spending Easter cooking, you will watch Moulin Rouge. I believe that Nicole Kidman won her oscar this year for her performance in moulin rouge. She sang!!! I was about ready to buy the DVD for the movie, but it turns out thatt I don't have enough attention span. At any rate, I would begin cutting up the red and green peppers for the kaldereta. Cut the tomatoes. The first time, it was actually chopped using a food processor. Since I am lazy with respect to cleaning electrical appliances, I just cut up the tomatoes like I cut onions. Really small. Pretty much, one can cut up almost all the ingredients so that when cooking, you actually do it like the chefs on tv and just add stuff. Of course, this takes the element of surprise in cooking. Like, SURPRISE where is the garlic. I need it now.

While the kaldereta was being cooked, I was cooking grilled leg of lamb. Note to self: Lamb can be greasy. In the future, need to be aware of this or the BBQ grill will be a mess. I once grilled lamb on the Webber grill. It wa a work of art because I managed to insert garlic into the lamb. However, the grill was a mess because of all the fat. This time around, I apparently marinated the lamb too much because the tasters complained that it was a bit salty. From my perspective, I believe I left the lamb too long. I really should just have cooked it 1.5 hours. or maybe even 1 hour. But, you know, when you are tentative and don't want your guests to develop food poisoning, you figure to be conservative when it comes to grilling/baking/basting food.

However, what happens too often is that the overcooked food is too tough. I guess I overcook because most filipinos don't eat things that have that rare bloody look. Filipinos are indoctrinated with the motto "If there is blood/juice, send it for ten more minutes until there is a black crust around it." What? It's tender and juicy? That can't be right. Cook the moisture out of it. Crush the water untill it's a rock. Only then will it pass through these lips.

Ah, the prejudices and preconceptions and misconceptions that I have learned and inherited are numerous and mind boggling. I still can not open an umbrella inside the house. I do a double-take when cutting my nails at night. Heck, I try not to walk under a ladder. Too many fears that have to be left on the sidewalk or flushed down the toilet. I hope I have enough years to do it.

Speaking of which, there used to be a great Filipino restaurant in San Francisco in the Mint Mall in the Mission. It's right next to the parking in Mission and 7th, 8th and 10th streets. I believe the name was New Filipinas restaurant. The food was absolute karinderia level. Everything was great. I mean, adobo was awesome. The dinuguan was superb. The lechon kawali was to die for. But, profitability took away that greatness. For some reason, the cooks and managers were changed and next thing you know, the food was worse than crap. Where the heck did you see/feel adobo that was so hard that your molars gave up on them? Only in the Philippines! Everything took a nosedive with respect to quality. The taste was cheap. The quality of the meats that were being used was questionable. Heck, the place is a stay away from this place. I will probably try to visit to see if it has improved. Chances are though that the health department is needed to check up on them.

Ingat.