Men are gay. Women are lesbians.

I have always been attracted to women who had that page cut look. You know, the ones who looked and most likely are lesbians. I suppose it was just that I thought that they looked cute with the short hair. This somehow brings me to Carrie Ann Moss of Matrix Reloaded. As a scholar of images, I have to analyze why it is that she attracts my eye. I was examining her photo and noticed the mainly masculine features of her face: strong chin, sallow complexion, generally square face. She's not very feminine at all. I'm betting that a lot of make-up have to be added to make her sexually attractive.

Hmm, do you think that men would still find her sexy after realizing that they are attracted to her because of the mainly masculine features? There is a story running around that Jamie Lee Curtis is really androgynous, that she is actually is a feminized XY male. Now, after hearing that, I could not fancy her as being sexy in the movie in which she stars with Arnold Schwarznegger (forgot the title). The abject masculinity in her body made me think twice.

I prefer to see myself as having a balance of the male and female energy. I have noticed that most people who do not have this balance of energy are "off" in some way. If one is too masculine, then one relentlessly attacks and does not think. If one is too feminine, one is too nurturing and is taken abused. The right balance allows one to adjust to the vicissitudes of life.

IMHO, this is one reason why the majority of male dancers are gay. They are the ones in the male kingdom who are capable of athletic prowess and yet are creative from the female energy. From time to time, there are males who are not gay but who have a balance of the female energy who become great dancers. And this applies to female dancers as well. They need the strength (masculine) in order to perform all the movements.

Which brings me to the two greatest Philippine folk dancers I ever saw. The first is Johanna P. who was the first freshman to ever dance the singkil in UC Berkeley ever. Think of that. The singkil is the most elaborate and most coveted dance in a Pilipino cultural night performance. Johanna was judged to be the best out of those who tried out even though she was only a freshman. Johanna went on to dance the three major dances for PCN: the Igorot dance, the Jota Manilena, and the tinikling. In each dance, she was absolutely breath-taking. A magical moment that lives on in my memory.

In Jota Manilena 1997, everything was so right even the lighting that I saw the history of the Philippines in a dance. Johanna also choreographed that one with another person who I forget. I have a photo that I will post one of these days that encapsulates the dance and the feeling in that dance. I could see in her movements the pain and suffering and the rebirth of the Philippines. How does it feel to transcend dance to become a living historical account of a country?

In the Igorot dance, Johanna P was as great as any dancer I ever saw. It was very difficult to photograph simply because I could not peel my eyes off of her. The rawness of the emotion and the balancing of the pots was just surreal considering she was a junior at the time and not a professional dancer. There are still performances out there that pale when compared to J's.

Here's to you Johanna. I hope you are dancing somewhere out there in Boston.

REtong